There’s a Website for That


>>[INDISTINCT CHATTER]>>BLOW HIM AWAY, BLOW HIM AWAY, GO, GO, GO. [PHONE BEEPING] OH, THAT’S MY ALARM TO GO TO BEST BUY AND PICK UP WAR HERO THREE FOR MY WAR HERO.>>SWEET. HEY, CAN YOU MAKE SURE TO GET THE GOLD EDITION?>>UH, NO, ‘CAUSE I’M GOING TO GET THE PLATINUM EDITION.>>THAT’S A BALLER MOVE, BABE.>>AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT DINNER ‘CAUSE I’M MAKING KOBE BEEF BURGERS!>>I LOVE MY LIFE!>>UM, QUESTION FOR YOU…>>YEAH.>>WHERE DID YOU MEET THAT GIRL?>>ONLINE. YEAH, I SIGNED UP FOR MEETGAMERBABES.COM.>>BUT WHY DOES SHE LIKE YOU?>>BECAUSE SHE ONLY DATES GAMERS AND THEY HAVE SET THE BAR VERY LOW.>>THE INTERNET’S CRAZY, MAN.>>I KNOW. AND IT’S NOT JUST FOR DATING, MAN. EVERYONE I ASSOCIATE WITH I CAN CHOOSE ONLINE. EVEN MY NEIGHBOR, FRANK.>>WHO SAID MY NAME?>>WHADDUP, FRANK?>>Y’ALL WANT TO COME CHECK OUT MY NEW BOMB SHELTER? I STOCKED IT WITH BEEF JERKY, DEER JERKY, AND IF YOU’RE FEELING PATRIOTIC, LIBERAL JERKY.>>OKAY, WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS GUY?>>NUTCASENEIGHBORS.COM.>>WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE NEXT DOOR TO HIM?>>BECAUSE COMPARED TO HIM, I’M THE PERFECT TENANT. MY LANDLORD DOESN’T EVEN MAKE ME PAY RENT ANYMORE.>>I’M GOING TO SIPHON SOME GAS FROM SOME TERRORISTS. TRUMP 2020!>>OKAY, DUDE. I DON’T LIKE THIS. I MEAN, WHERE IS THIS GOING TO END?>>OH HEY, SON. DID YOU NEED SOME SPENDING CASH?>>OKAY, THAT GUY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAD.>>THEPARENTSYOU’VE- ALWAYSWANTED.COM.>>WELL, OKAY. WE JUST CAME BY TO DROP OFF THE LAUNDRY YOU MAILED US.>>HOPE YOU DON’T MIND BUT I IRONED YOUR BOXER BRIEFS, MADE YOUR BED, AND LEFT A MINT ON YOUR PILLOW. HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH MALLORY?>>HON, COME ON.>>OH, I’M SORRY. IT’S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. WE’RE JUST HERE TO FINANCIALLY SUPPORT AND CLEAN.>>BYE, SON.>>HOW DESPERATE TO RAISE A MAN-CHILD ARE THEY?>>THEY’RE JUSTIN BIEBER’S PARENTS.>>OKAY. SAY NO MORE, BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE THIS ISN’T RIGHT.>>JEREMY, IT’S 2016, MAN. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE MEET PEOPLE. YOU MIGHT AS WELL EMBRACE IT, DUDE.>>[SCOFFS] THERE’S NO WAY I’M GOING TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY FABRICATED ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS.>>JEREMY, HOW DO YOU THINK WE MET?>>AT THE PARK. YOU HIT MY CAR WITH A FRISBEE. IT WAS COMPLETELY RANDOM.>>WAS IT?>>WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?>>MEETMUSTACHEDHALFASIAN- FRIENDSNAMEDJEREMY.COM.>>NO… THAT’S NOT TRUE!>>IT’S TRUE.>>THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!>>THAT’S FINE. THERE’S, LIKE, FOUR MORE OF YOU TO CHOOSE FROM ON THIS SITE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THAT VIDEO. SUBSCRIBE AND I WILL PERSONALLY SEND YOU A LINK: NUTCASENEIGHBORS.COM.>>YEAH.>>THERE WE GO. WHADDUP, BRO?>>COME GET A TASTE.>>GO TO THEIR HOUSE, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?>>WE’RE JUST GOING TO GO CRAZY, MAN.

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